In several of my sessions last week, my clients discovered the importance of communicating boundaries. Some are back in their childhood homes with their parents, some are visiting relatives, and others are expected to attend a plethora of holiday events while hosting a house full of guests. As Turbo Thinkers, we can get overwhelmed by these situations and fall back into automatic pilot, which feels like crisis mode.

As Turbo Thinkers, we spend a lot of time living in our heads. Because of our super creative imaginations, we fabricate fascinating fables and alternate realities that are just so believable. In fact, we are sometimes like floating heads, with no connection to our physical bodies, as our minds race into the future and experience catastrophe, rejection, and pain in all sorts of ways. We fly through different scenarios of doom, like a Choose Your Own Adventure novel, only none of the endings are happy.

For us Turbo Thinkers, a little bit of meditation can go a long way. I like to think of my meditation practice like sitting with a cute, curious, cuddly puppy. The puppy sits in front of us, then wanders away. It can waddle or pounce or spring, but it’s so cute! It’s in its nature to wander off. We gently pick it up and bring it back. It will surely wander off again, and we simply pick it up and bring it back. Such is the Turbo Thinker’s mind. It wanders off.

Some of my clients thrive in social settings. They love to meet new people, spark conversations, and connect with others. Socializing is a mechanism that satiates their curiosity. However, some of my clients experience social anxiety instead. The idea of a holiday party gives them the heebie-jeebies from head to toe. The negative thoughts related to the event can become so intense that they can literally make themselves physically ill in order to not attend.

This time of year provides even the most disciplined of Turbo Thinkers with deadly distractions and temptations. There are so many delicacies to taste and sip, so many presents from which to choose! Our devices push content at us that convinces our brains that we should be spending money and lots of it… because look at how much we can save! Since when did Black Friday and Cyber Monday become a commercial bonanza starting the day after Halloween?

According to Dr. Russell Ramsay, anxiety is the #1 emotion experienced by people with ADHD. He defines it as: “the intolerance of uncertainty.” What can we do when our brain type is consistently inconsistent? We certainly don't enjoy the feeling of worry, so our #1 emotional issue is how to tolerate discomfort.

I just came back from the grocery store and I’m still reeling from the displays. The towers of cranberry sauce and stuffing mix one would expect, but also Christmas chocolates and eggnog! All of them are shouting at me, “The holidays are here! And you aren’t ready!” My Turbo Thinking brain has gone into overdrive: the meals, the parties, the presents, the travel, the people, the pets, the food, the drinks, the kids, the money, the house, the work, the things to fix, the things to buy, the exercise, my parents, their health, my doctor’s appointment, cancer….Bam!

I often notice common themes among my clients over the course of the week. This week, besides guilt over Halloween candy consumption, I have heard both panic and shame over not being productive enough. There are only two months left! The holidays are around the corner! I should be doing more! Where does that “should” come from? Who says so? How is that judgmental voice of your inner critic serving you? What do you even mean by “productive”? By whose standards?

Last month I got to catch up on a lot of reading, both fiction and nonfiction. I finally got around to reading Circe, by Madeline Miller. Set during the Greek Heroic Age, it is an adaptation of various Greek myths, most notably the Odyssey, as told from the perspective of the immortal witch Circe. In case you didn’t notice, our society seems to be obsessed with the idea of immortality too, as we seek eternal youth. But we are human and we are mortal. Fortunately, with wrinkles comes wisdom, and with wisdom comes gratitude. We can be grateful for every moment that we do have on this Earth.

We, Turbo Thinkers, have a love / hate relationship with change. On the one hand, we love it! It’s something new! It’s bright and shiny! It gives me hits of dopamine! Yay! Give me anything to break the boredom! Let’s shake things up a bit! Woohoo!

A friend recently asked me for advice on how to balance social activities while still staying productive. I paused and told her that I did not have a one size fits all solution. Now that we are past the lockdowns of winter, summertime brings a desire to get outside & socialize more with an abundance of novel activities to bedazzle and stimulate Turbo Thinkers.

I just had a client that raised such a great question: How do I know when I am honoring my needs or avoiding something? She had been allowing herself to sleep and rest at home a lot, but was also feeling a bit guilty about it. As the coaching conversation flowed, she decided to write two columns with the headings: Avoidance and Active Rest.

In one of my Turbo Think Tanks today, a client realized that she wanted to keep track of what she HAD accomplished, rather than beating herself up for what she had not done. By shifting to a celebration of positive progress forward, she could focus on her strengths and her secret sauce. She could build a bank of evidence, proving to her inner critic that, “Yes! I can get things done!” We call this a Ta-da list, and I find that it is just as important or even more important than a To-do list.

One of my dearest friends came over for a porch visit last night. We shared freshly picked Japanese plums and a glass of wine as we caught up, she on my swing and me in a rocker, listening to the wind chimes and palms swishing in the breeze. She reminded me that we hadn’t seen each other since Mardi Gras, and so much had happened: overnight canoe camping, beach volleyball, trail biking, blues concerts at the square, and more.

As Turbo Thinkers, we sometimes have trouble regulating our emotions. We feel things really intensely! How can we be aware of our emotions in our bodies? How can we use that information? How can we calm down our nervous system to regulate our emotions? When we have the ability to regulate our emotions, we can activate our executive function skills. For example, we can move out of the paralyzing state of overwhelm towards task initiation.

I just returned from a stunning trip to Costa Rica, where I had the opportunity to stay in a tiny cabin at the base of a volcano. My trip overflowed with the simple pleasures of immersing myself in nature, eating simple, whole foods, feeling love and living la pura vida. I could be fully present and mindful while appreciating every moment with eternal gratitude.

It was a tough decision for me, but at the last minute I had to cancel all of my appointments the week after Hurricane Ida hit. I evacuated, my family and friends were displaced, and I did not know the state of my home or how the city of New Orleans would recover, if ever. Flashbacks of Hurricane Katrina returned, along with the shock, sadness and anxiety of the unknown.

There are times when I catch myself in a tailspin of insecurity. I sink to a pool of self doubt and shame. I feel so inadequate and incompetent. The spinning seems to never end, engulfing me deeper into a dark hole of misery, like I am being sucked down the garbage disposal of the kitchen sink that is my brain. I need to grab hold of something to get me out of my own head because I know that only I am in control of my own thoughts. I engage in personal inquiry: What is my reality?

After years of shame and self doubt, many Turbo Thinkers have developed a fixed mindset. This can take the form of negative self talk and absolutes such as, “I’m just lazy,” “I never finish what I start,” or “I am an anxious person.” These limiting belief systems prevent us from trying anything new.

A few Mondays ago, my AC gave out. We had typical New Orleans, subtropical weather during those days: highs in the upper 90’s, lows in the upper 80’s. Sunny skies with a daily afternoon thundershower and high humidity 24/7. Great for a dewy complexion but fierce for focused work. My house has a geothermal system, which only a limited few technicians in my area are qualified to service. I was placed on a waiting list and told to standby. Days passed.