Breaking Free from the DIY Trap: A Story of Accommodations
“The hard part isn't finding the accommodation - it's looking in the mirror and admitting with brutal honesty”.
"I can't make myself execute the task. I know what I need to do. I just can't make myself do it." Stan's frustration was palpable during our Supercharged Turbo Think Tank session. Here was a senior financial advisor with multiple degrees from prestigious universities, struggling with what seemed like a simple task - doing the dishes.
"My daughter came over and cleaned it all up during the holidays, but now I can't maintain it," he shared, his voice tinged with shame. "I should be able to do it! It's not that hard! It's just me, one person, living in this house."
As we explored deeper, a pattern emerged. The dishes weren't always a problem - only after his dishwasher broke. First, Stan tried fixing it himself, but YouTube tutorials became overwhelming. Then he attempted washing by hand, believing he should be able to manage. In both cases, the cognitive load exceeded his capacity. But the real issue wasn't the broken dishwasher - it was his broken accommodation and his denial about needing one.
It reminded me of someone who's nearsighted trying to squint harder to see. Just try harder! Keep trying! The absurdity becomes clear when we frame it this way. We would never shame someone for needing glasses. Instead, we help them find the right prescription and choose between glasses, contacts, or LASIK based on their lifestyle.
Our cognitive function works the same way. The hard part isn't finding the accommodation - it's looking in the mirror and admitting with brutal honesty: "I am never going to do this by myself. I need to find an accommodation that will best support me. I need to give myself permission to get help."
Once Stan realized he needed to fix the accommodation - not his brain - everything shifted. That same afternoon, he planned to get handyman references and check Lowe's for a new dishwasher. The solution was always there; he just needed permission to use it.
I see this pattern in executive settings too. A CEO might resist hiring an executive assistant, believing they should handle their own calendar. A CFO might struggle with presentations, thinking they should master PowerPoint themselves. The accommodation isn't just about capability - it's about optimizing time and energy for what truly matters.
Where in your life are you stuck because you think you should be able to do it yourself? What accommodation is hiding in plain sight? Sometimes the answers are simple once we give ourselves permission to see them. Ask yourself: What is my time worth? My sanity? My serenity? The answer might just be a dishwasher away.
Key Takeaways:
- Recognize when "should be able to" is holding you back
- Identify the accommodations that could support your success
- Give yourself permission to use available tools and support
- Consider the real cost of not using accommodations
- Focus on outcomes rather than methods